My Confessions

Posted by Ana Castillo on Friday, December 9, 2011 Under: Blog
Square one
Always torn between two feelings.
This is why I cannot love.
There are people who understand it,
And then there's those who just ignore.

If you can't understand where I come from
Then you won't understand who I am.
If you can't accept how I feel
Then maybe I'm not what you feel.

In life we are fascinated, obligated and underestimated .
I'm all of the above. Square two:
I say what I feel when I feel that is wrong.
I say who I love when I don't love at all.

It never makes sense. None of it makes sense.
I'm still obligated to tame my heart.
I always try to protect it, but I can never understand it.
My dreams are it's conversations,
My actions the investigation.

I shall La-la-la-love like a young girl
I feel the butterflies when he comes.
My nerves pinch with his gestures.
My throat bleeds with indigestion.

Why should I love and be loved back,
If by doing so I break someone else's heart?
Why not break my own, and let things go by?
Can't ever be happy with what I feel inside.

Letting it out, causes hatred
Causes Envy
Causes Gestures of pain, that can't be
Speeches of demand: Square three.

What starts as a friendship 
Ends as a war
This is why I cannot love.

If this doesn't work
Just say it ain't so. 
I'm happy and I'm not.
And in the end
I just want to find my way back.

In : Blog 

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Yours Truly

Ana Castillo Media Studies Major at Queens College Photographer, Writer and Enthusiast The world is my my book, I edit the pages.
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