Posted by Ana Castillo on Friday, December 9, 2011 Under: Blog
Square one Always torn between two feelings. This is why I cannot love. There are people who understand it, And then there's those who just ignore.
If you can't understand where I come from Then you won't understand who I am. If you can't accept how I feel Then maybe I'm not what you feel.
In life we are fascinated, obligated and underestimated . I'm all of the above. Square two: I say what I feel when I feel that is wrong. I say who I love when I don't love at all.
It never makes sense. None of it makes sense. I'm still obligated to tame my heart. I always try to protect it, but I can never understand it. My dreams are it's conversations, My actions the investigation.
I shall La-la-la-love like a young girl I feel the butterflies when he comes. My nerves pinch with his gestures. My throat bleeds with indigestion.
Why should I love and be loved back, If by doing so I break someone else's heart? Why not break my own, and let things go by? Can't ever be happy with what I feel inside.
Letting it out, causes hatred Causes Envy Causes Gestures of pain, that can't be Speeches of demand: Square three.
What starts as a friendship Ends as a war This is why I cannot love.
If this doesn't work Just say it ain't so. I'm happy and I'm not. And in the end I just want to find my way back.